Sleeping Habits
by crazy-wild-and-free
Summary: Kate is working on regaining control of herself and adjusting to life on the road with the brothers, but the past doesn't seem to want to make it too easy on her.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi there! Here is the five part follow up fic to my FDTD one shot, New Beginnings!**_

 _ **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything associated with FDTD...I just like to play around with the characters at times._

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 **Chapter 1**

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Kate was suffocating. She had to force herself to breath evenly as to not go into a full blown panic. In and out. In and out. It hadn't been long after she and the brothers departed Matanzas that the car walls began to close in on her, even with all of the windows down and fresh air blowing in.

"Kate?"

Kate turned her attention in the direction that the voice came from. She found Richie turned around in the front seat staring at her with concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded her head and offered him a small smile; it was a fake one but she hoped he would buy it.

"Do you need me to pull over?" Seth asked her from the driver's seat.

Kate's eyes flickered up and made eye contact with him in the rear view mirror.

"No, I'm fine," she insisted, shaking her head, but the lie was evident to all three of them.

Even though she could tell by the looks that she received from them that they wanted to push her on it, neither questioned her further. All that had happened was still too fresh and they were aware that Kate would talk about it whenever she was ready. Whether that was now or even never.

Kate was grateful when just after dusk, Seth pulled over at a motel. None of them were up for driving or riding any more that night. Richie hadn't fed in a while and he was getting antsy. Seth and Kate were both exhausted from all they'd been through that day. Although, for Kate it was more of her being exhausted from the past six months. She couldn't remember the last time she'd truly gotten a good night's sleep, or even sleep at all. Apparently the Queen of Hell hadn't needed to sleep much. Though one would think that being so evil all the time would tire oneself out.

As soon as Seth had returned with the room key, Kate snatched it from his hand and made a beeline for the room. She was itching to get out of the leather clothing that Amaru had donned while inside her. It was probably wishful thinking on her part but Kate hoped that by getting out of those clothes she would be able to feel lighter, less frantic and panicky and bonded. She just wanted to feel free and like herself again. In a way, she was free now...at least compared to what she had been hours before. But she didn't ever think she could or would truly feel completely like herself again. Too much damage had been done over the past six months. And Kate wasn't sure if it was the irreversible kind.

"Don't use up all the hot water," Seth teased, walking into the room just as Kate was making her way into the bathroom.

Kate turned her head and looked at him over her shoulder as she decided to play along. She welcomed any distraction from how she was currently feeling.

"Just for that, I might," she replied, smirking at him before retreating into the bathroom.

Closing the door behind her, Kate made her way over to the shower and turned it on. As she waited for the water to warm up she set to stripping out of her leather bonds. Being released from the confines of the clothes, Kate felt a little lighter but nowhere near as much as she wanted to feel. It would be a long time before she felt as light as she once did, if she was lucky enough to ever feel that way again.

After tearing off the last piece of clothing, Kate leaned forward and braced herself on the counter. She stared at herself momentarily in the mirror but quickly looked away. Amaru's dark makeup still plagued her face and she couldn't bare to look at it. She still felt like she was sharing her body with Amaru. Until she shed herself of every last bit of Amaru, she didn't think she'd ever be able to look at herself again.

Kate pushed herself off of the counter and turned towards the shower. Stepping into the shower, Kate moaned quietly as the warm water rained down upon her. It was soothing. But it still wasn't enough. She needed more. The water itself was not enough to make her feel better, to make her any less disgusted with herself.

She felt the sudden urge to wash and scrub herself until her skin was red and raw. If she was lucky, her pain would go spiraling down the drain along with the makeup and all else. But even she knew that was impossible. That didn't mean she wouldn't try to make it happen though.

Kate turned and gripped the hot and cold knob and turned it all the way to scolding hot. Then she reached behind her, grabbing both her wash cloth and the motels complementary body wash. She damn near emptied the entire bottle onto the wash cloth before she began to scrub her entire body. As she scrubbed every inch of her body until she was all red and soapy, a small sense of relief washed over her when she watched the last remains of the black eye makeup go down the drain.

After that she focused her full attention of her wrists. She had purposely saved them for last. They were still covered up from earlier, she was almost afraid to look at them...to see the nasty cuts that were sure to become scars over time. Scars. The eventual scars on her wrists would forever be a reminder of what happened. Out of all of the wounds that healed on her already, why couldn't her wrists have been part of them? The realization that she'd never completely get past what happened hit her like a freight train.

"No, no, no, no!" Kate exclaimed, pulling the coverings off of her wrists.

Dried up blood surrounded the cuts on both wrists, making Kate's stomach turn. Kate swallowed the lump that suddenly formed in her throat. This was just too much. She frantically began to scrub both of her wrists, switching the washcloth back and forth from one to the other. She scrubbed and scrubbed until the washcloth started to turn red and the shower floor became covered with red water.

Kate dropped the washcloth to the floor and looked down at her now bleeding wrists. Instead of panicking, she watched as blood ran out of the cuts and down the sides of her wrist onto the shower floor. She wasn't sure what came over her in that moment, but for some reason she barely felt a thing. The fact that she was bleeding out again didn't even register in her head as a bad thing. A big part of her just didn't care.

Looking up, Kate looked out through the clear window towards the top of the curtain. She once again caught her gaze in the mirror. But without the makeup, her focus was on her bright red hair. Unlike with the makeup which made Kate anxious to scrub herself raw, something about her hair made her feel angry and she just couldn't take it anymore.

Grabbing the first thing she could get her hands on, which turned out to be the shampoo bottle, she threw it against the wall on the other side of the shower. It hit the wall with a bang and dropped to the ground landing with a thud that rivaled the bang. If there was anyone staying in the next room, they were sure to have heard it. Seth probably heard it, too. But Kate still couldn't bring herself to care about anything in that moment.

Kate lowered herself onto the shower floor, pulling her legs up against her and wrapping her arms around them tightly. She laid her chin on her knees as she began to rock back and forth. Her tears followed soon after. And after that came the shortness of breath and the shakes as her anger turned into more panic.

What felt like an eternity passed by, which was really only a few seconds in real time, before she heard a frantic knock on the bathroom door.

"Kate!" Seth called from the other side of the door. "Are you okay?!"

Kate opened her mouth to respond but no words came out. Instead, Kate closed her mouth and continued to rock herself back and forth. She couldn't bring herself to answer out loud because whatever she did say was sure to be a lie. She wasn't okay, but admitting it out loud would make things even more real than they already were.

The sound of the bathroom door banging against the wall behind it caught her attention. A short time later, Kate glanced up and caught Seth's gaze through the curtain window. His eyes were heavy with sleep. A small ping of guilt coursed through her. She felt bad that she'd woken him, he was just as exhausted as she was and would still be sleeping if it hadn't been for her little outburst.

"Can you stand?" Seth asked her.

Kate shook her head no. Her body was wracking with shakes and sobs. She probably could stand, she just wasn't sure for how long. She decided she wasn't going to chance it.

Seth reached forward and gripped the side of the curtain, but hesitated before opening it. "Can I?"

Kate nodded her head, giving him silent permission.

Seth slowly pulled open the shower curtain, his eyes widening at the sight of the red water. It was nowhere near as red as when Kate had first scrubbed the cuts to bleed again. But it was still enough to cause Seth more concern. He turned to grab two hand towels and a regular towel from the stack of towels on the counter before rushing back to the shower.

Reaching in he turned the water off and kneeled down next to Kate. Seeing him unfold the hand towels, Kate stretched out her right arm to him so he could wrap her wrist and then did the same with her other one. Seth then unfolded the big towel and Kate raised her arms so he could wrap it around her.

"I'm going to lift you on three," he told her as he slid an arm under her knees and wrapped his other one around her back.

She nodded in understanding, wrapping her own arm around his neck.

"Alright, on three," Seth repeated. "One. Two. Three."

As soon as Seth was standing with her in his arms, Kate brought her other arm around and clasped her hands together. She was still shaking some and although she wasn't sobbing as much, tears were still falling from her eyes.

Seth lead them into the bedroom and sat down on his bed with Kate in his lap. A small smile made its way onto Kate's face as Seth began to gently rub circles all over her back. It had always been comforting to her that no matter how much of an asshole he could be to others, and to her off and on during their "Mexican Honeymoon," Seth was always a complete gentleman with her when his mind was his own. He didn't feel the need to constantly act all macho and egotistical around her like most men would. He was just Seth. And for that, she was so grateful.

It wasn't long before Kate stopped shaking, and her tears ceased to keep falling. There was something about being in Seth's presence that gave her the strength to overcome any and everything, even when she actually felt weak and used up. Deep down, she was aware that she had the strength to do that on her own. But there were times when she didn't feel up to acknowledging that strength, but Seth certainly had no issue bringing it up to the surface. He always gave her a reason to keep fighting even though there were times when she wanted to just give up. Honestly, he _was_ the reason. Well, he was one of the reasons at least. But he was the main one in the sense that he'd never given up on her, not completely anyways. By being forced to look into his soul, Kate had learned that even when it seemed like Seth had given up on her, deep down there was always a small part of him that didn't believe she was gone.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Seth asked her after she had calmed down, successfully breaking her from her thoughts.

"I'm not ready," she whispered as she shook her head against his chest.

"Okay." He sighed. "Well whenever you are, I'm here for you."

Kate leaned back and offered him a small smile of gratitude. "I think I'm settled down enough now," she told him softly.

"Oh, right," he replied, suddenly sporting a guilty look on his face.

Kate stared at him curiously, wondering what the guilty look was about. Had he liked holding her for more time than was necessary? If she wasn't so exhausted she'd probably have pondered the question longer.

"I should probably get dressed," Kate said as she moved off of his lap onto the bed next to him.

"Shit," Seth muttered under his breath, standing up abruptly.

"What?" Kate asked curiously, tightening the towel around herself.

"None of us even thought to get you any clothes," Seth answered quietly, looking anywhere but at her.

Kate looked down at the floor then. "Oh," she responded.

Well that definitely changed things. There was no way she was going to put those leather bonds of torture back on. She'd sooner stay there wrapped in that towel until she could get a hold of new clothes.

"Here," Seth said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

Kate looked up to see him standing there with his arm held out, a tank top and pair of his boxers in his hand.

"These will have to do you for the night," he told her as she reached out to take them. "I'll go into the bathroom and let you change out here. It's probably best to not put you back in there right now."

Kate nodded in agreement. Right now the last thing she wanted was to look into another mirror. She wasn't sure if she could trust her own reflection to not let her down again.

Seth glanced at her one last time before turning to go to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Kate stood up slowly and let her towel fall to the ground before she began to dress herself. A small smile made its way onto her lips once she was fully dressed. There was something strangely comforting about wearing Seth's clothes. That was something else she'd probably have pondered for longer if she wasn't so tired.

Exhausted, Kate climbed onto the bed and slipped under the covers. Her bed was only a few feet away, but she figured she'd stand a better chance at getting some sleep if she wasn't sleeping alone. Richie could take the other bed whenever he returned from his feed run. Snuggling into the pillow that also oddly smelled like Seth, most likely due to him leaning against it while she was in the shower earlier, Kate found herself drifting off to sleep almost instantly.

 **~sleepinghabits~**

Kate wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep before she was partially awoken by the sound of the motel room door opening and closing. Still half asleep she could hear muffled voices but wasn't paying any attention to what was said. That is until she heard Seth saying something about him and Richie just having to grin and bear sharing the other bed since she was in his. They'd apparently done it quite a bit when they were kids so they could stomach it for one night. Yeah, well she and Seth had shared beds during their Richie dubbed, "Mexican Honeymoon." They could do it again.

"Seth," she mumbled as she patted the bed next to her. "Here."

Kate stayed in her half asleep, half awake state until she felt the bed sink in next to her.

"Whatever you say, princess." Seth chuckled. "But first, we need to doctor your wrists," he told her, reaching out to grab the arm closest to him.

Kate groaned, shaking her head. She gripped her pillow tighter, refusing to let go of it to roll over. She just wanted to sleep, she was exhausted. Couldn't they do that later?

"Come on, Kate," she heard Richie say from the other side of her as Seth pulled her closer to him so that Richie could sit on the bed, too. "They could get infected if we don't take care of them.

"Or worse, you could bleed out again," Seth added. "And no amount of a blood transfusion would help this time."

In most cases, the prospect of such an infection or bleeding out would've had her complying in a heartbeat. But after all she had been through, she was willing to risk it all as long as she got to sleep.

"No, later," she whined.

"Roll over onto your back," Seth instructed, pushing gently at her shoulder. "I will do one wrist, Richie will do the other. Then you can go back to sleep."

Kate sighed and reluctantly did as he told her to, knowing that he wouldn't let it go until she complied with his demands.

"Attagirl," both brothers said in tandem.

Reaching both of her hands up, Kate stuck up her three middle fingers at each of them. "Read between the lines," she said, stifling a yawn, earning a chuckle from them both.

"Now, now. There's no need for that," Richie said, reaching for her right arm.

"We're just trying to help you out here," Seth added on, getting started on doctoring her left wrist.

Kate stuck her tongue out, keeping her eyes closed. "Less talking, more doctoring," she ordered. "I wanna sleep."

"Yes, ma'am," they both replied jokingly at once.

Kate rolled her eyes to herself and forced herself not to let a small smile show on her face. She laid there completely still as they worked on her wrists, yawning periodically. She couldn't help but feel safe and protected laying there in between them. In Seth's boxers and tank top none-the-less. That thought alone sent a warm fuzzy feeling tingling throughout her body.

Whether she was ready to forgive them both yet or not, it was a good feeling to know that they'd always be there for her. If anyone had said she'd be in that position, feeling that way, a year ago she would've told them they needed to go spend more time in church. But now that she was actually living it, she came to the realization that she wouldn't want it any other way.

"All done, princess," Seth said, breaking her from her thoughts, as he let go of her arm. "You can go back to sleep now."

Kate smiled briefly. "Thank you both," she murmured, rolling back over fully to her side of the bed when she felt Richie stand up. "Night."

"Night, Kate," Richie replied.

"Sleep tight, princess."

As she fell back into a full sleep, Kate could've sworn she felt Seth press a kiss to her forehead.

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 ** _So there you have it! Please feel free to leave me a review to let me know whether you liked it or not. Until next time!_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thank you for the review, favorites, and follows. I appreciate all of them/you all!**_

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _I don't own anything associated with FDTD...I just like to play around with the characters at times._

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 **Chapter 2**

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Kate awoke with a start, a scream tearing out of her throat. She reached one of her hands up to rest it above her rapidly beating heart as she wiped her forehead with the back of her other. The nightmares had to stop. Kate didn't know how much more of them she could take. Especially with them seemingly getting progressively worse each night.

She chuckled halfheartedly as she turned her head to look over at Seth's still sleeping form in the bed next to her. After having lived with him for three months during their time in Mexico, she was aware that during the first two hours of full on sleep he slept harder than a freaking rock. But during that time, she'd just assumed he slept hard because of the heroine. Clearly that wasn't the case. Either way, how he could sleep through her screaming each night would always baffle her.

It had been that way every night for the past week that they'd been on the road. Kate hadn't wanted to stop and stay in one place. She just wanted to keep moving around; she'd always wanted to travel after high school. Although this wasn't how she ever pictured it, now was as good a time as any. It was like a second chance at Seth and Kate's Richie dubbed "Mexican Honeymoon," except in the US and with a third person this time.

For a moment or two, she contemplated waking Seth up. But eventually decided against it. She had woken him up the week before and the night before due to her anxiety related issues and lack of sleep. This time she would let him sleep. He needed to catch up on sleep just as much as she did. Maybe even more now.

Throughout the past few days she and the brothers had all come up with a schedule of sorts. During the day while Richie got some sleep, Kate would drag Seth around whatever town they were in. It helped distract her from her nightmarish thoughts. Her memories of what she went through may ruin her sleep at night, but she'd be damned if she was going to let them ruin her days as well.

Then at night while Seth and Kate slept, Richie would go off and do his own thing. Most nights being the key words of that. Some nights Kate was convinced Richie would stick around the hotel room just because he liked ruffling her feathers. She still wasn't ready to forgive and forget when it came to him yet. She was sure that he knew it, and that's why he'd sit in the chair next to her bed every couple of nights and simply stare at her. It was like he was trying to silently coax her into going off on him. As if her yelling at him for anything would be better than her giving him the silent treatment.

Yeah, so what she had been taking the juvenile approach with him. She wasn't ready to go there and hash things out with Richie just yet. So therefore, she made sure to try to avoid him every chance she got. There was nothing wrong about her doing that. Especially because despite everything she had been through as of late, she was still a teenager. Sue her.

Wiping the back of her hand on the sheet, Kate threw it off of her and sat up. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, taking deep even breaths in and out to get her breathing back in check. Once she was sure she could stand without falling over, she stood up and quietly made her way over to the dresser where her bag was.

Pulling out a pair of comfortable sweat pants, she tugged them on over her sleep shorts. It was chilly out and the last thing she wanted, or needed, was to catch a cold. God only knew what kind of nightmares she'd have if her memories and a fever teamed up together. That was certainly not very high on her list of things to find out one day.

Kate slipped on her flip flops, because oddly enough her feet never got cold like the rest of her body did. Then she grabbed the hotel room key off the table and made her way to the door.

"Oh my god!" Kate yelped upon opening the door and immediately smacking into a hard body. "Darn it, Richie! Don't scare me like that!" she exclaimed, knowing before she even looked up that it was him.

Richie smirked down at her before his expression turned to one of concern. "I heard you scream," he noted, staring at her as he waited for her reply.

Kate sighed, running a hand roughly through her hair. "I had a nightmare," she said and then pushed by him to walk out of the room, leaving it at that.

Honestly, she wasn't in the mood to talk about it. Especially not with him. A big part of her still blamed him for a lot of the shit that she'd been through in the past six or so months, however long she hadn't been in control of herself. She hadn't counted. If Richie had never used her to find that well then she'd never have been killed and Amaru would've never had the opportunity to use her as she had.

Kate shuddered at the thought of all she'd bared witness to during those awful months. The things that had been done using her body. She could barely stand to be in her own skin a lot of the time these days. Kate knew deep down that she herself hadn't done any of those bad things. She hadn't personally stolen all of those innocent souls, but having her own body controlled and manipulated into performing those tasks sure as hell didn't make it easy not to still feel guilty about everything.

"I'm all ears if you want to talk about it," Richie offered, following after her.

"No, thank you," Kate replied with lack of emotion in her voice, shaking her head as she continued walking down the hotel hallway.

"Where are you going?" he asked her, speeding up his pace so that he was walking next to her.

"Out for some fresh air, I guess," she answered with a shrug of her shoulders. "You have an extra smoke?" she questioned as they made their way outside and he pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his inside jacket pocket.

A chuckle escaped Richie's throat. "I'm pretty sure that's the opposite of fresh air."

Kate stopped walking momentarily to turn to him and glare. "Are you going to give me one or not?" She held out her hand, knowing already that he would.

Without a word, he took one out of the pack and handed it to her. She took it from him and placed it between her lips, holding it as he took out his lighter and lit the end of it. Taking a puff, she immediately exhaled the smoke.

"I take it you're still mad at me?" Richie guessed, taking a drag from his own cigarette.

Kate turned and walked away from him. "Do you really want to go there right now?"

"It's been a week, Kate," he reminded her. "Plus we're going to have to go there eventually if we're going to be spending so much time together."

"I'll forgive Seth fully before I forgive you even a little bit," she admitted, the words coming out harshly. She took another puff of the cigarette in her hand. "He may have used me, too, but at least his using me didn't help lead me directly to getting killed."

Richie opened his mouth to respond but the sound of Kate's stomach growling interrupted his train of thought. "If you're hungry, there's a 24 hour diner not too far from here."

Kate turned around with a small frown on her face. "As nice as that sounds, if I remember correctly we used up what little money we had left to rent our hotel room for a few nights and stock up on food for Seth and me."

A smirk found its way onto Richie's lips. "That was then. This is now."

Her eyes wide, she asked, "What did you do?"

Richie shrugged his shoulders. "Does it really matter?"

Kate threw her cigarette onto the ground and stomped it out before picking it up and throwing it into the trash can next to her. "It kind of does," she deadpanned, crossing her arms. "Especially since we're still here for another day or two."

"Don't worry about it," Richie told her, waving her off. "It's not like I robbed a liquor store or anything."

Before Kate could say anything in response, her stomach growled again. With a huff, Kate turned and headed for the car.

"Just so we're clear, you are not to say anything else to me for the rest of the night," Kate called back to him. "I'm not ready to forgive you yet, and I refuse to let you try to sweet talk me into doing so."

Richie laughed as he followed after her. Oddly enough, Kate was slightly annoyed by his response but she also found comfort in his laughter. Maybe forgiving him would be easier than she originally thought it'd be. Or maybe not. Only time would tell.

 **~sleepinghabits~**

It was around four in the morning when Kate ended up returning to the room. After seeing to it that Kate made it inside the hotel safely, Richie had gone off on his own again. He had mentioned something about going to feed since the diner food didn't fill him up enough or something like that.

Kate slipped her key card into the door slot and pushed it open. She wasn't expecting to be met by the bedside table light being on and the faint sound of the television. And she certainly wasn't expecting an overprotective Seth to greet her at the door. But both things happened.

"Where have you been?" Seth asked, jumping up from the chair next to the door and making his way over to her.

"Well hello to you, too," Kate said, half joking.

Seth half glared at her for not answering his question.

"Calm down, Seth. As you can see, I'm clearly fine," Kate told him as she closed the door behind her and walked into the room, slipping her feet out of her flip flops and taking her sweatpants off so that she was wearing just her tank top and sleep shorts.

"I wasn't sure what to think when I woke up to find your bed empty," Seth admitted.

Kate rolled her eyes. She understood why he was acting like this, he always did when it came to her. But sometimes he could take his overprotectiveness too far.

"Jeez, next time I will be sure to leave a note," Kate said jokingly, turning to face him.

"Not funny," Seth replied, crossing his arms.

Kate sighed. "I had a nightmare so I went out to get some fresh air," she told him. "I ran into Richie and we went to the diner down the road to get something to eat."

Seth frowned. "Where'd he get the money?"

Kate laughed briefly. "He said, and I quote, "Don't worry about it. It's not like I robbed a liquor store or anything," she answered, giving her best Richie impression...which must've been either a very bad one or a very good one because Seth's serious expression turned to one of amusement instantly.

Seth smirked. "We'd already be on the road if he had."

"Good point," Kate said, nodding her head in agreement.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Seth asked, putting a hand over his mouth to stifle a yawn.

Pointing at him, she answered, "For that very reason. We're both still exhausted from all we've been through in the past however many months...well, year really."

"You still could have woken me up."

"I woke you up the first time," Kate reminded him.

"Not on purpose," he responded.

"Touche." Kate smiled before dropping it and getting serious again. "But still, I didn't want to wake you again," she told him. "Don't want you getting tired of me too quickly."

Seth walked over to her and reached out to tuck a stray strand of Kate's hair behind her ear. "I could never."

Kate's breath hitched at his unexpected action. "You could never again," she said in a panic.

Seth flinched at her words and dropped his hand back down to his side.

" _Nice going, Kate_ ," she reprimanded herself, mentally kicking herself for not thinking before speaking. " _What happened to working on forgiving him for what happened? Throwing it in his face just because you panicked isn't helping matters any."_

"We should probably catch up on some more sleep," Seth said, turning away from her and making his way back to his bed.

Kate nodded in agreement as she turned back to her own bed. But she was suddenly frozen and couldn't bring herself to move closer to the bed. The reminder of her nightmare came back to her as she stared at the bed. It took every fiber in her being to not drop to the floor, curl into a ball, and cry until she was so numb that she couldn't feel anything anymore. She hated feeling as weak as she was. What had she ever done in a past life to deserve to be going through this shit in this life?

"Kate," Seth's voice broke her out of her thoughts.

She turned her head to look in the direction that his voice came from, finding him standing on the other side of the bed with concern written all over his facial features.

"Can I sleep with you?" she asked, her voice as quiet and broken as she was feeling.

Seth studied her for a moment before nodding his head ever so subtly. "Sure."

Kate offered him a small smile as she slowly managed to move herself in the direction of his bed. "Thank you."

"Of course."

Getting into bed, Kate turned onto her side so that she was facing Seth and curled up underneath the covers. She waited until Seth was laying down next to her before she finally allowed herself to close her eyes.

"Night, Seth."

"Goodnight, princess."

Kate couldn't help but really smile at his use of nickname for her. She'd never been one to care for being called by "pet names," but it felt comforting when Seth called her princess. And not that she was paying any attention or anything but she'd noticed that he had been calling her princess a lot more recently. As with many other things, if she hadn't been so tired she probably would've thought about it longer and tried to figure out if it meant something. But once again, exhaustion was too much for her to fight. She quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**_I wrote this early in the morning so it's not edited. Therefore, I apologize in advance for any mistakes you may come across. But I wanted to get this posted since it's been months since my last update. Sorry about that. My muse wasn't cooperating with me for a bit._**

 ** _This chapter is a rollercoaster of emotions. It starts off angsty, turns playful, gets a little angsty again, and then ends on another playful note. I hope you all enjoy!_**

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _I don't own anything associated with FDTD...I just like to play around with the characters at times._

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 **Chapter 3**

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Eyes fluttering open, Kate blinked a few times to get rid of the sleepy haze blocking her vision. Confusion washed over her as she took in the darkness of the room aside from the slither of moonlight peaking through a crack in the curtains. These days she usually only woke up when it was still dark out because of a nightmare. But she was almost completely positive that a nightmare wasn't the cause of her waking up on this particular night.

Kate frowned slightly as she turned her head to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table. 2:01 am stared back at her in bright red numbers. It was still too early for her to be up. But she didn't feel tired enough to try to fall back to sleep. So what was she to do from now to day break?

Feeling something move beside her, Kate sat up quickly and proceeded to stumble out of bed. Staring down at the bed, she saw Seth sleeping peacefully. Running a hand through her hair, she looked around and only then realized that she'd been sleeping in Seth's bed.

It hadn't even occurred to her when she checked the clock that it had been on her left instead of her right like it should've been had she been in her own bed. But how had she ended up in Seth's bed? She was sure that she'd fallen asleep in her own bed. The fact that the bed sheets and cover were in disarray proved her right. So again, how exactly had she ended up in Seth's bed? Trying to wrack her brain for any answer, she came up with none.

Running a hand through her hair, Kate walked over to the window and pulled the curtain back just enough to look outside. Her eyes went straight to the pool area. It was lit up just enough for her to take a night time swim if she wanted to. It was after hours so technically she wasn't supposed to be out there. But she was shacking up with a pair of criminals, sneaking in to the pool area was not very high on her "things considered bad" list. Besides if she did get caught what's the worst that could happen? She would get thrown out of the hotel? Or reprimanded for trespassing?

A smile appeared on her face as she closed the curtain back to it's original placing. Tiptoeing to her bag, she pulled out her bathing suit and retreated into the bathroom to change. She came back out minutes later, a couple towels in hand, throwing her pajamas onto her own bed.

After checking to make sure that Seth was still asleep, she grabbed her room key and quietly slipped out of the room. If she didn't already know she wasn't the same girl she once was, this would be the time she'd know for sure. Only a year ago the idea of breaking into the pool area would've kept her in her bed under the covers, but now the possibility of getting in trouble for something so small made her want to do it even more. She'd definitely spent way too much time in the presence of criminals and culebras.

Walking into the pool area, Kate placed the towels down on one of the chairs before walking over to the pool. She carefully dipped her toe in the water to test the temperature. Satisfied by the feeling of the water, she dove in to the comforting water.

Kate grinned as she came up for breath a few moments later. It had been more months than she could count since she'd last felt this good. She almost finally felt like herself again. Almost being the keyword. She wasn't sure if she'd ever truly feel like herself fully again. But this was a start.

Leaning backwards so she could float on her back, Kate relaxed her body as the water formed a watery cocoon around her. She stared up at the stars and cleared her mind of everything. Her breathing was steady; just in and out, in and out. Her entire body welcomed the feeling of true calm.

Kate closed her eyes and floated for what felt like forever, enjoying the calm; the peace and quiet. Even her mind was the quietest and most peaceful it'd been in so long. She opened her eyes after a while to stare at the stars more, but instead she was met by a figure standing over her.

Losing her calm concentration, Kate sat up quickly momentarily forgetting she was in the water. She went under and came back up moments later gasping for air. She stood up and turned in the water to find that it was just Seth standing there.

"Damn it, Seth!" she exclaimed, her hand shooting up to her chest. "Don't scare me like that!"

He had an amused expression on his face. "My bad. Sorry."

Kate mock glared at him. "You asshole."

"I said sorry."

"Half assed."

"What are you doing down here at this time of morning?"

"Well, I _was_ relaxing."

"Don't stop on my account."

"Too late for that," Kate pointed out. "Speaking of... I could ask you the same thing."

Raising an eyebrow, Seth asked, "Ask me what?"

"What you're doing down here," Kate answered, swimming over to him and leaning against the edge of the pool.

He kneeled down next to her, dipping one of his hands into the water. "I was looking for you."

"Why?"

"You weren't in the bed when I woke up."

Kate eyed him curiously. "You know about that?"

"And you don't?"

She shook her head. "I have no idea how I ended up in bed with you... this time."

"You were sleepwalking," Seth informed her, chuckling.

"Sleepwalking?" Kate questioned. "I sleep walked into bed with you?"

"It would appear that way," Seth confirmed. "I woke up to you standing over me. But when I tried to get your attention it became obvious you were still sleeping."

Kate had a feeling there was more to it than just that.

"And?"

"And what?"

"There's more."

"There could be."

"What is it?"

Seth laughed quietly. "Then instead of walking around to the other side of the bed, you proceeded to get in bed the harder way and climb over me."

Kate's eyes widened. "That's not slightly embarrassing at all," she said as she hid her face in her hand. "Sorry about that."

Seth shrugged. "No big deal," he replied. "It's not the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me."

"I've been sleeping in your bed a lot lately," Kate said. "I have an inkling of a reason why."

Pulling his pant legs up, Seth sat down on the concrete with his feet in the water up to his ankles. "Care to share?"

Turning around to lean backwards against the poolside, Kate sighed. "I don't have nightmares when I sleep next to you," she admitted. "It's as if you're my personal dream catcher. You keep the bad ones away and occasionally give me good ones, but mostly I just don't dream when I'm next to you. It's just peace and quiet."

She glanced over at Seth to gauge his reaction to what she had just admitted. His mouth was set in a straight line and the rest of his face didn't convey anything either. Kate couldn't even imagine what he was currently thinking. Though if she had to guess she'd guess that he was probably wondering how after all he'd done how he could possibly be her safe haven from the nightmares.

Sighing, Kate turned away from him before speaking again. "You know Amaru was correct when she mentioned my hatred towards you," she confessed and then turned back to gauge his reaction to her newest confession; this time she got what she was looking for.

The expression on his face was pained. All the guilt he felt was shining through, revealing itself as clear as the day. His mouth was set in a frown, his eyes from what she could see were glossy with unshed tears. He'd never let them fall though, he even probably silently hoped that she couldn't tell what was going on in his eyes. They both knew she knew though, but they also knew she wouldn't say anything about it.

Kate turned back around again so that she could pull herself up onto the concrete. She positioned herself so that she was sitting next to him. Reaching forward, she placed one of her hands on his gently. She waited with bated breath to see whether Seth would pull away as he looked down at their hands; he didn't. Kate let out a breath of relief and took it as confirmation that she could continue with the second part of her confession.

"She was right, but the hatred doesn't go nearly as deep as she led you to believe," Kate assured him, squeezing his hand gently. "And I don't blame you for everything that happened like she said I did."

Unconsciously, Seth flipped his hand over so that their palms were touching.

Biting her lower lip, Kate ever so slowly intertwined their fingers. She didn't make any move to fully clasp their hands together; she would let him do that if he chose to do so. The last thing she wanted was to freak him out and have him close off completely. Emotion had never really been his strong suit. He was much more of a runner and a pretender than anything else when backed into an uncomfortable and tight corner.

"My so called hatred towards you was more disappointment than it was hate," she continued when he said nothing back. "I did everything I could for you to treat me like I was your partner. A true partner, but you were either too high or too much into your own head space that to me it felt like... it felt like you just told me what I wanted to hear in that moment, and then when you left me on the road that night... it was as if what I felt had been confirmed."

With her free hand, Kate ran a hand through her wet and tangled hair.

"For a short time it did seem like I hated you for what you'd done, I mean you more or less threw me out like I was yesterday's garbage. At least that's how it felt at first," Kate told him; she wasn't sugar coating anything. In order to move on from the past, she needed to let everything out and leave it all on the table. "But it didn't take long for me to realize that it was indeed disappointment. I didn't know how to handle it. It just seemed easier to disguise it as hate than it did to try to figure out why I was so disappointed. Maybe that's where Amaru got the hatred idea from. Or she knew the truth, but she wanted to screw with me so that I'd give into her so she used it against you."

Amaru had made Kate watch as she tried to take Seth's soul, and he almost let her... but that was something that Kate planned on confronting him about some other time. Amaru had made Kate watch as a way to try to break her because Seth had been right, Amaru had been afraid of her because for so long Kate fought and fought to not give up complete control of herself. But what Amaru hadn't counted on was that what she'd forced Kate to see in Seth's soul would eventually be what helped her forgive him for everything.

Once Kate had time to process everything she'd seen, it'd make it that much easier to work towards forgiving Seth for all the things Kate felt she needed to forgive him for. Amaru's plan to use Seth to break Kate had failed. A look into Seth's soul had given her the answer to every question she'd had after Seth had left her in the middle of the road that night.

"I never meant to hurt or disappoint you," Seth said quietly.

Squeezing his hand, Kate turned to look at him and offered him a small smile. "I know you didn't," she assured him. "In the cave when you finally stopped trying to make my decisions for me and you realized that I'm not the same person I was when you first met me... that I wasn't some kid that needed to be protected from everything... it was then that I truly felt like I was your partner, like I was without a doubt your equal."

"You were always my equal," Seth told her, looking at her for the first time since the confessions had started.

Kate nodded. "Back then you didn't always show it," she replied. "But I know it now. I've known it since Amaru was going to take your soul. I saw what she saw. I saw the reasons why you did what you did. Seeing into your soul helped me forgive you completely. I finally understood everything and was able to let go of my hatred and my disappointment about what had happened." She laughed. "I highly doubt that Amaru ever thought that seeing into your soul was going to help me forgive you, that it was going to give me more reason to fight her."

Seth opened his mouth to say something, but Kate had a good idea of what he was going to say already.

"Yes, you heard me right," she said. "You gave me the strength to fight. I was so ready to give up, but after seeing into your soul and seeing that even when on the surface you seemed like you'd given up on getting me back... you never completely thought I was gone. You were afraid of being wrong so you pretended like you had given up in hopes it would hurt less in the off chance that you were actually wrong about it. But when everyone else gave up on me still being here, you never gave up on me and _that's_ worth fighting for."

"Kate..."

She shook her head, signaling for him to say nothing else. "You're worth it, Seth. Do not ever think that you aren't," she told him. "Say it with me."

Seth laughed softly, shaking his head upon hearing her request.

"I mean it, Seth," Kate spoke sternly. "Say it with me. You. Are. Worth. It."

When Seth didn't, Kate smacked his arm.

"Seth Gecko! You say it right now."

Seth sighed and relented. "I am worth it."

Kate grinned triumphantly. "Now was that so hard?"

Seth shrugged.

Kate sighed as she kicked her feet in the water.

After a short time of silence, Seth broke it.

"Do you really forgive me?" he asked, staring at her.

She nodded her head. "I do. If I've learned and retained anything from my upbringing it's that forgiveness is a strength and that's one of the many reasons why I truly have forgiven you," she explained. "Life is too short to hold on to grudges and if I want to move on then I need to leave that negativity behind me, even though in some cases it's easier said than done. Forgiving you is a very good start at moving on."

"I am glad to hear that," Seth said with a smile on his face.

"Plus you have helped me so much with everything so far and things aren't like they were the first time around. I now know that I can trust you not to leave me in the middle of the road at night ever again."

Seth visibly flinched at the reminder of his actions that night.

"It's in the past," Kate reminded him. "Just do not ever do it again or else."

"Or else what?"

Kate didn't have an answer to that.

"I promise that won't happen ever again," Seth assured her. "But I can't promise that other things won't happen in the night."

Wrinkling her forehead in confusion, Kate was about to ask what he meant but her words were put on hold when she was submerged in water. She came back up practically screaming at him.

"You asshole!"

"Shh! You are gonna get us in trouble," he said, trying to sound serious but his laugh gave him away.

"I don't care! That was an asshole move!" Kate exclaimed. "You're lucky I am in my bathing suit and not regular clothes."

Seth was about to retort when a brighter light flickered on in the distance.

Kate's eyes widened as she stared up at Seth.

"Who's out there?!" a voice asked loudly.

"It's the manager," Seth said, recognizing the voice from when he checked in a few days earlier.

Kate slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. "Oops."

The undeniable sound of footsteps began to get closer and closer.

"Get to the deep end now!" Seth ordered, pointing towards the one part of the pool that was still dark enough for them to use as cover.

"Wait, what?" Kate asked just as Seth lowered himself as quietly into the water as possible.

"Deep end now!" he said again, grabbing her arm and pulling her along with him.

"I told you to keep it down," Seth fake scolding her, even going as far as wagging his finger at her.

"Keep wagging your finger at me and I'll bite it off."

"You have something you want to tell me?"

Kate laughed once she realized what he was implying.

She rolled her eyes. "Like I'd ever be able to keep that a secret."

No sooner had she finished her sentence did Seth lift a finger up to his lips.

"Get closer to the side of the pool," Seth whispered as the undeniable lights of a flashlight appeared on the opposite side of the pool.

Kate squished herself as close to the pool side as she could. It wasn't the most comfortable position ever, but it beat being caught. Especially now that she'd have to explain why she was in the pool with a guy to a complete stranger. She could only imagine the things that would go through the managers mind. Yeah, not a very pleasant thing to have happen. Getting caught was not an option by any means.

What felt like an eternity passed by before the manager finally left. Kate was silently thanking God for not letting the manager actually do a thorough search of the pool area. Or maybe the manager was just too lazy or too tired himself to check everywhere. Either way she didn't get caught and that's what mattered.

"We should probably get back to the room now," Kate suggested. "In case he decides to come back and check the area thoroughly."

Seth nodded his agreement.

"I guess it's a good thing I grabbed two towels instead of one."

Seth grinned at her. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were hoping I'd turn up down here."

Kate shrugged. "I guess you'll never know."

 ** _~sleepinghabits~_**

By time they made it back to their room, Kate could feel her eyes getting heavy. All the confessions and almost getting caught had knocked the energy right back out of her. She and Seth took turns in the bathroom. Her first and then him. When he returned from the bathroom, Kate was curled up in her own bed.

Seth raised an eyebrow as he looked from her to his bed and then back to her. "Are you sure you don't want to sleep with me?"

Kate nodded. "You help me a lot but I can't get too used to sleeping with you. I'm a big girl. I can sleep in my own bed," she insisted, she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince the most.

"If you're sure," Seth said, turning off the overhead light. "I'll be over here if you need me."

Kate let out an involuntary yelp as the darkness took over.

Seth immediately flipped the lights back on. "You okay?"

Pulling the cover higher and holding it tighter against herself, Kate asked, "Can you sleep on the side closest to me, please?"

With a sigh and a nod of his head, Seth turned the light back off and rounded the bed to the side next to her. "Whatever helps you."

Kate smiled softly. "Thank you."

"Good night, Kate," Seth said once he was settled in.

"Princess," Kate corrected before she could stop herself.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Good night, Princess."

Kate grinned.

"Good night, asshole."

"Seth."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Good night, Seth."

Kate was pretty sure Seth was grinning, too.

 _ **~sleepinghabits~**_

Kate frowned as she turned her head towards the bed where Seth was sleeping soundly. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't jealous of how quickly he could fall asleep. He'd been asleep a better part of half an hour and Kate had spent that entire time tossing and turning. Maybe she really couldn't sleep alone anymore. Maybe sleeping with Seth was the only way she good ever get a good nights sleep anymore.

Kate sighed and proceeded to turn again just as the room door opened. She had heard the distinct sound of the key before the door opened so she knew it was Richie returning. A few hours early. Kate looked over at the clock, seeing that it was only 4:11. He didn't usually return until right before sun up to get some sleep. But the sun didn't rise until around six. So he was almost two hours early.

Kate raised an eyebrow. "You're sleeping at night?"

Thanks to the slither of moonlight still shining through the crack in the curtain she could just barely make out Richie shrugging his shoulders.

"It is supposed to be rainy tomorrow," he answered. "I won't have to worry about getting burnt to a pile of ash if I'm up during the day."

"If you say so." Kate sighed, sitting up and throwing the covers off of herself. "You can sleep here, and I'll sleep with Seth."

It was Richie's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Don't even start," Kate warned as she got out of bed and made her way to the other side of Seth's bed.

"Neither of you start," Seth mumbled, his voice being muffled by his pillow. "Be quiet, get in bed, and go to sleep."

"Yeah, Richie." Kate smirked at him. "What Seth said."

Richie opened his mouth to retort, but Seth beat him to the punch.

"Kate!" Kate put on a fake smile as Seth rolled over onto his back and stared up at her. "I know you're still mad at Richie and therefore love to poke and prod and rile him up, but it's four something in the morning," he told her, his voice hoarse with sleep. "Save it for later. You have all day."

On the other side of him, Richie chuckled.

Seth turned his attention to his brother. "What? Am I suddenly surrounded by five years olds?"

"She started it." Richie grinned, pointing at Kate.

"Did not," Kate argued feeling the urge to walk over and smack him. "You're the one who..."

"Enough!" Seth interrupted. He sighed, shaking his head and running a hand over his face. "If you keep acting like five year olds, I'm gonna send you both to separate corners for a time out." There was a menacing edge to his tone, betraying his exasperation. "Now both of you go to bed. Argue and act like kids when I'm not trying to sleep."

"Fine," Kate huffed, crawling under the covers next to Seth.

"Whatever you say, brother," Richie responded, amusement clear in his voice.

"Don't make me have to get out of this bed," Seth threatened.

Kate chuckled. "Pot meet kettle," she said. "We're about to have another five year old in here."

"Either go to sleep now, or you sleep outside."

The last noise to fill the room that night was Richie and Kate's laughter.


End file.
